I did what I saw. I learned from other mothers around and thought that I need to protect my children from rain, cold, heat and any other thing that could harm them. Wasn’t I right? Yes, I was, at least I strongly believed so.
That was why I would say ‘No’ to my kids when they wanted to play in the rain, ‘No’when they asked me if they can build castles in the sand, ‘No’ when they longed for roadside panipuri. They would never protest nor argue with me. I was happy that they are listening to me.
But I had to learn my lessons one day, and am glad I learned it sooner than later. I happened to watch this eye-opening video on how to discipline kids, and I must say it was not just an eye-opener but a life-changer in my case.
Have a look at the video, and you will be shocked to see the repercussions of saying ‘No’ to kids.
A mother says ‘no’ to playing outside with a good intention – the fear that her child would catch an infection. Another mother tells her daughter to eat from her box as outside food might harm the child, while yet another mother tells her kid not to play with a particular child lest he gets infected.
But they are flabbergasted when they see how their ‘No’ was taken by their children. They surely didn’t want their children to misunderstand them. But their children did misunderstand, and that deprived them of some lovely opportunities to socialize and make friends.
I never thought disciplining could lead to such drastic reactions from children. And definitely, this is not what I wantedfor my kids. You would agree that our intention of saying ‘No’ is different from what our children understand. This makes it all the more important for us to be careful while giving instructions to our kids.
In fact, research done by the University College London says that children who are controlled by their parents grow up to have poor mental health*. Over-control restricts the child’s autonomy and does not give them an opportunity to learn from their mistakes.
Lead author of the study Dr. Mai Stafford says: “All parents are to a certain extent caring and to a certain extent controlling.
“Psychological control can limit a child’s independence and leave them less able to regulate their own behaviour.”
A well-intentioned ‘No’ can actually do more bad than good to your child. I am not saying that you should not say ‘No’, but you need to know when and for what to say ‘No’.
Say ‘Yes’ to your child if he wants to play in the rain for once; say ‘Yes’ to your kid if she wants to dig her hands deep in mud; say ‘Yes’ to your little one if he wants to splash in the pool. They won’t harm them but only make them learn through their experiences and cherish those fun moments for a lifetime.
#iamyesmom. I have joined the #YesMom Movement. Would you?