Recently I stumbled upon this video and like the mother in the video, it made me ask myself certain searching questions. As moms, we say ‘NO’ to our kids all the time…I hadn’t realized that one word has so many consequences… Watch the video ….
See what I mean? We can all agree that motherhood is one of the most challenging, yet lovely experiences we can have. Being a mom comes with its share of lessons and we learn each day in our journey. Being the mom of two kids…over the time I have realized that one of the key requirement for being a good mother is patience. I am not a patient person by nature and I used to get upset or angry when my kids made mischief, threw tantrums etc. I used to yell, shout and spoil my mood as well as the kids’.
For instance, my younger one is very naughty and curious. He used to literally throw his toys out of the window. And I always used to shout “No!” “Stop that!” “Don’t touch that!” “Didn’t you hear me? I said NO!” Once the anger subsided…I used to feel bad and try to cajole him later. But then the damage was done.
Over the time…I observed that the child had stopped touching anything in front of me but when I was not around his mischief would be more. Somewhere, the thought pricked me…what am I doing…am I teaching him to hide and do things behind my back? I slowly started working on it and tried to change myself.
After watching the video…I stopped saying NO and I took the #YesChallenge. Then, I too, became a part of his game. I allowed him to throw ball out the window and I would catch it on the outside. Funnily enough, within a few days he got bored of it and stopped it completely!
Every day I am bombarded with 100 questions…
” Amma, can I eat chocolate? “
” Amma, can I play in the rain today?”
” Amma, can we have a doggy? “
” Amma…can I play for some more time and not study? “
To be honest the inner red monster feels like yelling a BIG NO to all these questions, thinking the aftermath.
If he eats chocolate now…he won’t eat dinner properly…If he plays in the rain, he will catch a cold …doggy = mess …. pheew… I know saying No sounds so practical…right? But should I be saying no to my children all the time? I have learnt it’s ok to say yes!
Being a #YesMom has taught me to react to the same questions in a better way, here are some examples…
– “Yes baby, you can eat chocolate…but only after dinner “
“Yes, let’s play in a warm shower, before your bath, I don’t want my baby to catch a cold”
“Oh yes, you can go to play again but first let’s quickly finish studies “
“Wow!! A doggy!! I love the idea, let’s get one once you can take it out for walk by yourself”
From the time I have transitioned to a #YesMom, I see a lot of changes in our relationship. The house seems livelier, we feel more connected, my kids find a friend in me and are happy to share each and everything in their lives with their mom. They rarely back answer or through tantrums- they are no longer little rebels.
Many moms might argue with me here – saying Yes to everything might create lack of discipline and the child might get spoilt. But then telling No is also not a solution. When we say ‘yes’ to reasonable requests, we give our children the chance to grow. Teaching our kids about boundaries and limits is an essential part of parenting. Listen carefully to anything the child wants to tell you, later we can decide to say Yes or No. If the answer is No, then give an apt reason why it is NO. By changing the way we communicate with our children, we can do wonders and give lot of happiness.
Here’s a real life example… after my daughter’s last exam she came home and wanted to go to a kids-only party at McDonald’s. A few weeks ago, without hearing her whole request, I would have said a straight No. But now, after taking up the #YesChallenge, I try and explain things in a better way. I took a deep breath and said YES to the party but made her realize how unsafe is it to let only kids go to an unknown crowded place. She understood my concern and asked if I could accompany them. At the party, I enjoyed watching all the happy faces from a distance :). Back home I was showered with love by dear daughter for being a #YesMom and listening to her always.
As a mother it’s always easy to say No, make rules, announce verdicts but we need to think of the consequences. This revelation has helped me change myself and transform into a #YesMom.
Are you also a #YesMom? If not, don’t you think it’s the right time to make this important transition and let your kids enjoy the carefree pleasures of childhood? Childhood is all about creativity, curiosity and fun. Believe me, a simple affirmation “YES ” has lot of positivity and boosts the confidence of the children and adds a lot of value to their well-being. I challenge you to take up the #YesChallenge, believe me it will make a huge impact in your kids’ lives. So, let’s join hands be a part of the #YESMOM movement. Share your stories of what changes you have seen in your kid. https://goo.gl/R6SvXA