parenting is one thing that constantly puts me in a challenge mode. I am acting, re-evaluating and changing techniques in my head all the time. The #YesChallenge was a very interesting thing I did, read on to know how my experience was and the learnings my kid and I had.
I heard about the #YesChallenge a while ago. Came across this lovely video where a mother talks about how she took the YesMom Challenge and it made her see a lot of things with a new angle.
My initial reaction to the video honestly was a lot of apprehensions. I have always said that as much as I would like to be a friend to my son Ojas, I need to be a parent first. My primary responsibility is to discipline him, make him a better adult. There is an expectation I have from the way he grows up, how will those be achieved if I never say no to him. A parent’s job is tough, surely a parent cannot be a yes person.
So many questions popped up in my head, but nonetheless, I decided to take it up and see where it goes. The first week was hard, the instinctive response to most questions he asked me was & NO. The first week also made me realise how many NOs I am actually saying. Even on the things that actually don’t really deserve a no. It made me aware that I really can say yes very easily 6 out of 10 times, it really was a no-brainer. It was my own habit of saying No that was stopping me. And so I took up the #YesChallenge
The rest of the 4 times were a challenge somewhat. But then a very interesting thing happened, I realised that I can actually stop him from doing things without saying no. Confused, look at this!
Ojas – Mumma can I go to the park NOW
previous response – NO, first finish your homework.
Response after the #YesChallenge – Yes, absolutely! But how about finishing your homework before you step out to the park.
See what happened here? The whole tone changed! And it had an effect on my son, he understood that I am trying to help him do things better. I realised, the more I used this approach the more he complied and said yes too.
It felt like we were more at peace, we had more time on hands since we weren’t squabbling all time on silly things. We even started doing fun things together. Things we used to love but took a backstage like baking and cooking. If I look back in the last week because I wasn’t saying no to my child all the time.
He actually understood the difference between yes and no when I said it
He was able to slot his time better. Did his school work on time and had more free time to play.
Learnt new techniques of cooking and baking from me. Now he can make Aglio-Olio pasta all by himself
This whole movement has been spearheaded by ActivKids Immuno Boosters by Cipla, which is an interesting choco-bite-size supplement, I look forward to discovering more about. The #YesChallenge totally worked for me. Of course, I do say no now and then but that is when there really is no option. And he does understand it and takes the no much more seriously.
Why don’t you try it too? Take up the #YesChallenge for a month and see how you feel. Spend one month, two weeks or even one week challenging yourself not to say no to your child. Give in to his demands or come up with interesting ways to decline. Come on moms (and dads) let’s do this together.
And after you are done share with me your learnings, your hurdles? Tell me if it worked for you as well as it did for me?